I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
