just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Non-Jews are for practice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
