Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
