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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  well look at the bright side

  (440): View more from Ohio

  maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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• (315): View more from New York

  I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously

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• (516): View more from New York

  if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine

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• (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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• (415): View more from California

  Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends

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• (716): View more from New York

  I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.

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• (310): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP

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