The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
