The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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