Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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