sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
