HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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