I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
