They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
