I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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