Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
