whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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