the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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