Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
