She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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