maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
