If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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