Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
