id be glad to
I bet he comes in French.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Drake has all the answers
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
