Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize