i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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