OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
