So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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