doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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