i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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