I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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