my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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