who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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