girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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