Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

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(914): View more from New York

Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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(310): View more from California

Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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(647): View more from Ontario

Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.

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(954): View more from Florida

Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.

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