I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
