I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
