I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
false alarm, still single
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
