I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
