ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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