Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
