Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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