Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize