The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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