hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
