I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
