but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
