I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
