Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
