the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
