Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize