He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
