Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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