Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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