Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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