come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
