i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
