can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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