my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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