go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He shit in the fireplace
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
