I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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