Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
