You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this boner is exhausting
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
