i jhust puked up my retainher.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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