Do you still have your period?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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