He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
