...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
