I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
