i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
