I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have post one night stand depression
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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