I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ladies don't puke and tell
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
